In Advent and at Christmas more than 90 percent long for harmony and silence, want tranquility and want to spend more time with family and friends. But what does the reality often look like: quarrels in the family and many people who are alone and suffer from loneliness. Free days, good food, get-togethers with the people who are close to us - everything could be really beautiful. But instead: hectic and stress is spreading, the preparations have robbed many already the last nerve. Proper joy is certainly no longer on.
Why is this?
At Christmas expectations and reality are often far apart. Too many expectations are linked to the reunion of family members, friends or relatives. The true feelings threaten to sink in the Christmas shopping spree. Instead of embracing one's self, it's better to buy a present, instead of saying good-bye, there are still fast-packed parcels every year.
Many people have a nearly transfigured image of Christmas and completely overlook the fact that we all come from the most different situations in the holidays and therefore bring very different needs. Christmas with the family is therefore a source of conflict: the parents want to be with the children, the children are drawn to friends.
Harmony at Christmas can not be forced
The hoped-for mood is missing, frustration is spreading. Smoldering conflicts break up, family commitments are perceived as a burden. So it is on the feast of love again and again to disappointments.
However, harmony can not be enforced Therefore: just enjoy the days as they are. Allow yourself and the other family members freedom and opportunities for retreat. Free yourself from the pressure to fulfill all obligations. Just say "no" once.
Less is more
We have too much of the "good" - eating, drinking and leisure. But we have too little exercise and fresh air, too little healthy nutrition and usually too little faith in the partner or family members. The fact is: Every German takes between Christmas and New Year on average 370 grams of weight, while the physical exercise is usually too short.
In order to clear out possible stumbling blocks before the festival, it is useful to clarify in advance what the holidays should look like. Plan a special, but not too sumptuous Christmas dinner, arrange a daily activity with the family, for example a walk or a sleigh ride. Distribute the tasks of preparation and daily work to all family members. So everyone is jointly responsible for the success of the festival.
This too is Christmas - a time of loneliness
On holidays, loneliness is high season, because Christmas is the feast of the family. For most of us that seems normal. But more and more people spend the holidays alone and lose almost all their courage. Single people or people who suffer from depression find this time a special burden.
Churches and congregations offer lots of celebrations and gatherings especially for Advent and Christmas, which can be of help to lonely people. But even a visit to the local pub can help to avoid being too melancholy at Christmas.
Life rules of the Dalai Lama
At Christmas and New Year - when the balance of the year is drawn - people are taking time to reflect on the new year, especially their new year. An orientation for the future will give life rules. They can help to develop clear goals, to find new meaning and to see life in a wider context. Here are the rules of life of the Dalai Lama:
- Note that great love and great success are always associated with great risk.
- If you lose, never lose the lesson.
- Always have respect for yourself, respect for others and take responsibility for your actions
- Remember: not getting what you want is sometimes a great stroke of luck
- Learn the rules so you can break them properly.
- Never let a small dispute destroy a great friendship.
- If you find you have made a mistake, take immediate action to make it right.
- Spend some time alone every day.
- Open the change to your arms, but do not lose sight of your values.
- Remember, silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Live a good, respectable life. When you are older and think back, you will be able to enjoy it again.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation of your life.
- In clashes with your loved ones just talk about the current situation. Let the past rest.
- Share your knowledge with others. This is a great way to gain immortality.
- Handle the earth carefully. Once a year, go to a place you have never been to.
- Remember that the best relationship is where each partner loves the other more than he needs.
- Show your success in what you had to give up for him.
- Dedicate yourself to love and cooking with all your heart.