No-saying wants to be learned and creates respect

No-nay, requires patience and practice. But you will see that after some time, it will not be that hard anymore and may even bring benefits.

Formulate a clear no

Clear announcement: formulate your answer clearly. "I'll take over the appointment for you tomorrow, but not the presentation next Thursday." Evasive phrases like "If I come to that, I may ..." or "Let's see if there is still time for this afternoon", promote misunderstandings, postpone the conflict and aggravate it. Your partner will feel if you do not mean something seriously.

Even small children need these clear messages, because they are not yet capable of insight. Otherwise, at the end of a detailed explanation is a "I want anyway!". If parents make compromises with their children and set rules together, they can insist and remember the arrangements. For example: "We discussed it and that is also true now."

Try the no-nonsense

Overall, Fischer advises to try out the no-says in light situations. For example, if the butcher at the sausage counter again puts more on the scales than you want to have: "Thanks, but I would like to please only 100 grams." Because every little success in everyday situations strengthens the self-confidence. Sometime also succeeds the No with the boss.

Despite constant efforts, the energy is not always enough to maintain its position. However, those who ignore personal goals too often risk mental and psychosomatic illnesses. Then at the latest, support is required to learn no-nonsense.

A certain no creates respect

The art of no-nonsense is therefore part of various behavioral therapy concepts, for example in the context of stress management and self-confidence training. In role-playing games, the group participants practice their own wishes or misunderstandings. In fake situations with fellow sufferers it is easier to formulate one's own needs. It becomes more difficult when a real conflict from everyday life is replayed.

The requirements are slowly being screwed up and associated with little homework. Finally, the new skills are put to the test together in real situations. The group goes out into the outside world: one of them has to complain about a bill in the restaurant, others ask the caretaker for the repair of a water pipe.

No-nonsense learning in vocational training

The methodological refusal is even part of some vocational training. Psychiatrists and psychotherapists must be able to clearly differentiate themselves from unjustified claims of their patients without losing the trusting contact. Special seminars for employees in service occupations teach how to disapprove friendly, but determined, excessive demands.

Try to find a balance between yes and no

Do something only if you are really behind it. This works in all areas of life relaxing: supervisors and customers respect people who can formulate a rejection friendly and justify it. Also friends and family members can better assess and approach you if you have a clear attitude.

This is especially important in the partnership. Especially when forging joint plans for the future, the life partner must be able to rely on your not only saying "yes and amen", but sharing common decisions.

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