Men's friendships

When friendships end ...

Most of the time it starts with a slight discomfort: "I noticed that my girlfriend has often talked badly about others - even over the most intimate confidants - so I became suspicious: How does she actually talk about me?", Says the 50-year-old Ute. "Then she put me off several times and forgot my birthday, so if I wanted to meet her, she did not have time, and then at some point the sentence 'I have nothing better at Easter, maybe I'll come visit you.' The oven was out inside me! "

Concealing problems in a friendship is a risk. Maybe Ute's friendship would have had a chance had she talked in plain English in good time. But when too much time has passed, only aggression and injuries are too deep, then an honest end to the friendship is usually better.

Men's friendships

"... if you make a firmware update of your media center with an unofficial beta version from the internet, then it's your own fault if nothing works!" Mario is on the phone with Paul. Scenes of a male friendship that has existed for five years. Conversations about what others feel are rare. That they also call others "best friends". Men may have a best friend - but would rarely say so. Why is that? Perhaps because women are more likely to meet at the relationship level, while men are more interested in factual issues such as the new I-pod, football results, career planning.

American scientists claim that only about 20 per cent of male friendships consist of conversations about themselves, while conversations about shared activities are made by far the greater part. But that too is changing more and more. The ability to show emotions has increased in men in recent decades. That does not mean that they only ever talk through their relationship. But the dumb Desperado, who is retreating, is becoming more and more a discontinued model.

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