Promote and demand - How children become self-confident and strong

Probably all parents want strong children who believe in themselves, express their needs without fear and go through life with open eyes. "In order for a child to become a confident personality, it requires a lot of warmth and security, attention and attention, as well as support and motivation, " says Karin Schreiner-Kürten, graduate psychologist at the AOK-Bundesverband. For a child to become cheerful and self-confident, it must be sure of the love and affection of its parents. "Support your child and trust him, " advises Karin Schreiner-Kürten. "Give your child the feeling that it is valuable and unique - it will boost one's self-esteem." In addition to parents, educators, educators, relatives and friends can do a lot for the positive development of a child.

Do not forget the praise

Also important are praise and recognition. "Highlight small achievements and pick up on mishaps as an opportunity for the child to learn, " advises the psychologist. In order for it to feel fundamentally accepted, adults should never evaluate the person of the child, but always provide feedback on their behavior. For example, instead of "you're evil, " it's better to say "it's not okay for you to throw your toy on the floor."

At the same time, the parents should not overprotect their offspring, but leave them age-appropriate freedom, in which he can discover his creativity and make his own experiences. In the independent research, play and move, the child can get to know themselves and have first experiences of success.

Accept opinion

"Every child also has to learn to defend their own point of view and to accept resistance - that builds self-confidence, " says the psychologist. Parents should accept his opinion and share in family decisions. At the same time, every adolescent has to learn to accept rules. For a child, who fulfills every wish, does not learn to be able to renounce.

This deficit in development leads to a low frustration tolerance and may turn out to be a serious disadvantage later in life. Schreiner-Kürten: "People with low frustration tolerance are far more at risk of fleeing into addictive behavior than others who have learned to forgo it."

Do not give up

Parents should also be aware that they are an important role model for their daughter or son. "Anyone who sits in front of the TV for hours, for example, has little credibility if he wants to ban the television from the young, " explains Karin Schreiner-Kürten. "It is better to lead by example." This applies, among other things, when dealing with alcohol.

The way in which parents resolve conflicts with each other is also crucial to the child's later behavior. Encouraging also means demanding. "Do not give up too quickly if your son or daughter does not dare to do anything." Be patient, for example, when the child shies away from diving in the pool, "says Karin Schreiner-Kürten.

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