Being a father, contrary to popular wisdom, is difficult. While women seem to go through their pregnancy with a sure instinct, expectant fathers are not always so sure of their cause. A test strip on the sink edge in the bathroom, nausea in the morning and salt crackers crumbs in the kitchen. The first ultrasound helps to make the unknown being at least comprehensible.
When will you become a father?
It was only in the last two generations that men were allowed to be fathers, so the so-called "new fathers" were born. Before that, it was often not allowed for hygienic or moral reasons that they witnessed the birth in the delivery room. Many expectant fathers have difficulty imagining the new life with a child - and often do not know that the mothers are very similar. Both have ideas, ideas and dreams about how life should develop in a threesome. But are you talking about it enough?
The so-called pregnancy syndrome
When offspring sign up, it's usually all about the mother and her well-being. The expectant fathers often fall by the wayside. Nobody cares so much about them. Around 25% of expectant fathers develop a so-called gestational syndrome that includes headache, nausea, or weight gain of 4 kg or more. In the recent scientific literature even a few cases of male pseudo-pregnancies are reported.
Where is the erotic?
Psychologists see the pregnancy symptoms of expectant fathers but more as signs of unresolved conflicts with the pregnancy. Joy and pride over pregnancy are coupled with fear of the changed life situation, the fear of losing their place at the side of the beloved woman and the uncertainty about sex life during and after pregnancy. Does it harm the child physically? Will it be psychologically if the parents have sex during pregnancy? How long after birth does it take us to sleep together again? Is this the end of all eroticism?
Many of these questions can be answered quickly and easily: As long as the doctor does not notice anything else during the regular check-ups, sex is harmless during pregnancy. The penis does not touch the unborn child. Fruit bladder, amniotic fluid and the soft tissue of the cervix protect the baby. Only very shortly before birth, certain hormones in the sperm can lead to the fact that the birth is accelerated. But muscle contractions during orgasm are not contractions and therefore safe.
Talking is always good, silence is rare
In most cases, however, these problems can be resolved through discussions and intensive exchanges with the partner. If the partners support each other, fears and insecurities can be tolerated much better - and this applies to both men and women. For many men it helps to be involved in pregnancy and birth preparation right from the start. Some people have to muster the courage to do so. Gynecologists, midwives and birthing centers usually have no problem integrating the expectant fathers into the care and answering their questions. However, there are no guarantees that preparation for childbirth will produce a good father.